he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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