i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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