Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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