im holly from the hills drunk
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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