if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize