put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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