yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Randomize
