This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
