Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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