Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
