i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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