I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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