Me. At least after what I've been through.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
