just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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