Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
