My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
