This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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