you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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