We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
