too bad you live with your parents still
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
