He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
