we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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