I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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