i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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