lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
please come you make the beer taste better
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
