He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
