thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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