Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize