We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
