wakey wakey hands off snakey
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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