I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
