Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize