grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
