I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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