Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
