brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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