Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
