My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
