I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
