Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
