dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
