Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize