We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
