As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
PANTIES FOUND
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