Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
