I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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