He disabled his match.com account in front of me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
