Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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