yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
