Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
