dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
