The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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