Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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