...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
