I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
