I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
