i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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