I need help removing her.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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