i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
