Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
