i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
